Inevitability.. story of my life
My dream of long ago.. God speaks to me saying “ I give you what you want before you ask”
Inevitability … The word describes my history, all of my experience, and that of every living and non-living.
Actualizing our DNA history, our life experience, is only an aspect of experience. Not of some honouring, not out of superiority - no thing, living or not is superior to all others - All have their capacities and skills.
Kant ….we should care less about our happiness and other’s virtues and more about our own virtues and other’s happiness..
Not be merely tolerant but fully accepting- to always seek to activate the mirror neurons…
be a root that encounters an obstacle, perhaps a rock, and moves around it seeking only to grow..
So when we interact in some sexy games out of what is either desire/desire, or desire acquiescence, as equals or out of deference to power.. and I gain later an understanding of some of my earlier programming that led to that desire and that choice and effort to manifest that action and you are later re-traumatized by the memory, what is my role now? How can I be taught some truth for myself by a twitter message? How? When I need an essay , need to essay a climb back along the paths of hill and memory to possibly re-frame my neuronal programming around a whole set of incidents to avoid getting stuck in either guilt or repetition… “mindless repetition” or “programmed” repetition .
Every action I take has behind it the energy and the pattern formed by millions of neuronal events from my entire history - and maybe some from the universe that encapsulates me with quantum entanglements and time entanglements . I cannot act therefore out of “free will”. My “will” is predetermined antecedent to whatever act I perform believing I am free..
In this I am no different from that rock falling off a mountain.. whose action is the end result of billions of years of history acting on its elements… and so are all my deeds..
So, you say, you can choose to act wantonly, crazily, whatever you choose for self-gratification- since “you” are not responsible. Well, you might do that or you might not. Others will call you responsible or irresponsible, you may go your way unimpeded or get locked up. and you will do what you will do whether you read and believe what I have written or not…
in my dream of long ago.. God speaks to me saying “ I give you what you want before you ask”
This I now read as a paraphrase of scientific validation describing the life and behaviour of my neurons, collectively, they are God, and I will get what they dictate I will get… and “my” part can only be to be interested in the result. (see what I have written under, (
“what is life for”)
The only “I” in all this is that empty one who witnesses all, mirrors all witnessed… and simply laughs at the idea of taking credit or blame for whatever the outcome of “my” apparatus’ choices in the moment. And I have reached a sufficient programmed understanding of how my actions might hurt another or have caused suffering or pain in another, so that my actions either avoid that, or seek to redress the damage.. This our culture calls “adult” behaviour….
Whether a rock, or an earthworm, we are all subject to the forces of history of billions of years attached to our every particle, none of our actions subject to conscious choice, since whatever happens in the moment is but an act predetermined by our history, which we cannot retrace or remember in all its complex detail.. some of it indeed no long recorded, as if we had climbed up by a ladder and then kicked the ladder away..
And if I abuse the trust placed in me by the Universe that gives me life, I will reap the consequences of breaking those laws of natural morality, ie. natural inevitability, which I cannot escape.
Donato Apr. 23 2018